Thursday, 09 April 2009
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Soul Reflecting Sky -- Freedom
Don't you ever wish you could just break away? Completely and utterly, just drop all that nasty baggage that's keeping your feet on the ground. Pain, unforgiveness, fear, hatred, wounds, selfishness, sarcasms, apathy. Junk, trash, icky smelling baggage of every mental, emotional, physical, spiritual sort. Don't you ever wish you could just drop it all on the floor and walk away, walk into a brand new, clean life, where you don't have to carry all that around?
So many things have been happening lately. Not easy, not comfortable things, but something is happening to me. My soul is trilling with change. I have been carrying around so many things. I've been caught up in so many things, things I never knew were effecting me negatively, things that we dragging me down, slowly destroying and twisting me. I been seeing all this anger, pain, fear, bitterness, unforgiveness, lies, ancient baggage from my childhood rising to the surface and falling off. All of it, I feel it just shedding off me.
Haha, I feel like I've been slingshotted towards a higher plateau, and I've busted right through into a bright and beautiful sky. All this horrible, nasty, festering stuff inside my soul has just been scraped right off when I broke through. And suddenly I'm light. I'm free.
What struck me most was just how much stuff I was holding onto. I mean, me. I had thought I was a pretty unburdened person, that I never held onto things and never let them fester inside me. But I've been getting pieces of baggage cleaned off me that I never knew was there. Only in hindsight do I realize that, "Whoa, hey, that's why I was always so insecure/driven/sensitive/depressed in that area."
So I have a challenge for you, dear readers. All the nasty festers I've been finding in myself were festers I had been holding onto. Harmful ideals, injuries, negative emotions I didn't want to let go. So here's the challenge:
If you could let it all go -- and I mean drop every little tiny bit of baggage, heal every hurt, root out every speck apathy, ect, ect -- would you choose to be entirely free of it? Do you want to let it go?
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Comments (5)
Lol yea I enjoy playing piano in the mass, always, ‘cause I can contribute to the whole organization at least. This means, at least, I can have something to be done for the sake of our belief. This is good and fantastic. Thanks God for giving me such strength (not somewhat a kind of significant power, at least I don’t think so ‘cause there’re indeed many others who’re doing this better than I do lol) so that I can do something for all. Alas, lol it’s not my sister who will soon undergo the baptism but mum ^^ haha yea my mum will be a catholic soon after this Sat that’s a big day!! A really big day!! The only pity is I can’t join her and go to her church to witness the holy rite ‘cause the place where mm will be baptized will be filled fully with many people who will also be baptized. *sighs* … so that’s why the father, on behalf of that church, revealed that it’s not possible to allow people from elsewhere to come and witness the holy progress … or else y’know what, I was wondering if I could join her even if I was meant to give up the ‘job’ I was supposed to take on that day in my own church as a piano accompanist lol … and now perhaps it’s God’s decision that I, no matter what, have gotta fulfill my obligation to be a piano accompanist and that’s what the case means by ‘I have to take my own seat in my church and service people probably and obediently’ lol XD Alas, my friend if you have time please kindly read the latest entry that’s typed n three kinds of languages ^^ lol I wanna reveal something quite profound and that means a lot to me at least. Oh yea and my mm told me that she wept today (that’s on the good Friday) that she was required to attend a mass about how Jesus Christ was forced to bear the cross and went up to a mountain – in which on the way the road was just extremely atrocious and inhumane. When she watched Jesus (of course the (wax) figure, I’m not sure XD) come out and be born by some people, she wept ‘cause she sensed how painful it was when Jesus was on his way. Though I might not be able to know of the sensation, I tried hard to getta know of it and understand it. Hey what?! You’re heading Jerusalem? That’s cool!! That’s really cool!! I wanna go t there and see things there ‘cause it’s the place where Jesus was born!! I only know of the things there on books … but I really wanna experience them with my body … I wanna know of the sensation, something more real ^^ wahaha my friend I look forward to your entries anyway ^^ YEA~! God bless you and be contented and thankful yea haha and don’t forget to take as many photos as you can so that I can see them as well!! Lol this is mostly important haha XD
Lol yea I enjoy playing piano in the mass, always, ‘cause I can contribute to the whole organization at least. This means, at least, I can have something to be done for the sake of our belief. This is good and fantastic. Thanks God for giving me such strength (not somewhat a kind of significant power, at least I don’t think so ‘cause there’re indeed many others who’re doing this better than I do lol) so that I can do something for all.
Alas, lol it’s not my sister who will soon undergo the baptism but mum ^^ haha yea my mum will be a catholic soon after this Sat that’s a big day!! A really big day!! The only pity is I can’t join her and go to her church to witness the holy rite ‘cause the place where mm will be baptized will be filled fully with many people who will also be baptized. *sighs* … so that’s why the father, on behalf of that church, revealed that it’s not possible to allow people from elsewhere to come and witness the holy progress … or else y’know what, I was wondering if I could join her even if I was meant to give up the ‘job’ I was supposed to take on that day in my own church as a piano accompanist lol … and now perhaps it’s God’s decision that I, no matter what, have gotta fulfill my obligation to be a piano accompanist and that’s what the case means by ‘I have to take my own seat in my church and service people probably and obediently’ lol XD
Alas, my friend if you have time please kindly read the latest entry that’s typed n three kinds of languages ^^ lol I wanna reveal something quite profound and that means a lot to me at least.
Oh yea and my mm told me that she wept today (that’s on the good Friday) that she was required to attend a mass about how Jesus Christ was forced to bear the cross and went up to a mountain – in which on the way the road was just extremely atrocious and inhumane. When she watched Jesus (of course the (wax) figure, I’m not sure XD) come out and be born by some people, she wept ‘cause she sensed how painful it was when Jesus was on his way. Though I might not be able to know of the sensation, I tried hard to getta know of it and understand it.
Hey what?! You’re heading Jerusalem? That’s cool!! That’s really cool!! I wanna go t there and see things there ‘cause it’s the place where Jesus was born!! I only know of the things there on books … but I really wanna experience them with my body … I wanna know of the sensation, something more real ^^ wahaha my friend I look forward to your entries anyway ^^ YEA~! God bless you and be contented and thankful yea haha and don’t forget to take as many photos as you can so that I can see them as well!! Lol this is mostly important haha XD
((oh btw I dont' know why there's a problem in paragraphing ... ))
Lol haha sorry lol I was getting stupid wahaha XD yea alright I can figure it out right now ^^ so yea it’s indeed a good idea let’s go there together someday!! Haha I really wanna getta know about the things there and especially things related to the ancestor of our religion … lol I’m not sure whether it’s correct for me to call this here … the ancestor I mean ^^” for sure there’s no offence … it is of course my belief as well
Lol hey my friend guess what!!! Finally I could still attend mom’s baptsm!! Yea hurray!!! Thanks God that I could have the chance to attend it!! This unique thing !! ever in mom’s life!! Yahoo~!!!!!
Well … I remember that night I was just trying to get back home from the easter grand mass in my catholic church … but wel I talked to my friend and asked whether mom’s would come to an end … she gave me an answer that probably mom’s wouldn’t come to an end … so I decided to go there and take a look. Before getting to the venue mom’s baptized, I decided to go to a shop that’s for Christian gifts called Precious Moment (I don’t’ know if there’s any Precious Moment in the US there ^^) but what a pity that then time I went to the shop it was closed. *sighs* … then I went to the venue and luckily the important moment was still not yet over hahahaah and during the whole mass I stood at the back of the grand cathedral … yea … it’s pretty tiring lol but I’m extremely happy … lol SHH ~! Don’t tell others that I was sobbing at the back of the cathedral … I hope no one did see that I was weeping haha XD during the mass
And I went to mom after the mass … she was very happy ‘cause she just hadn’t thought that I would go and see her !! haha I love that moment and feeling I love it !! I perhaps this is what that’s priceless and precious … perhaps that’s the love of God … it’s complicated … it’s profound .. but you can still feel it, you can still be able to understand it!
Haha thanks for the luck and compliment … lol I don’t’ know what to say … but I’m laughing and …. Smiling … lol yea kinda contradictory huh?! But I guess you know what I mean by smiling here ^^ thanks … hee~ and laughing here perhaps … lol I cant let you see how I look why I’m shy lol
And I’m sorry for this very late reply … it’s thankful that a surge of work has jus been over and … well *tired smiles* I’m just waiting for another surge of the work XD I hate the college life … I wanna get rid of it soon and be heading a uni!!!
Oh yea … so it’s hard to imagine that how brave they were when they were told by God (or well … some beings designated/ordered by God) that they were chosen by God … and they were meant to fulfill God’s will and hope on them … I can’t imagine what I would do when I were one of them ‘cause I must be very uncertain …
AHHH~!!! Thanks so much my dearest friend and yea I’m sure God had listened to your prayer and that’s why I after all was able to attend the rite Mum was baptized! WOOHOO~ I’m so exhilarated that I couldn’t control myself but wept behind mum lol … so yea right now Mum’s a catholic and she told me she would go the church I used to go to after May since she’s required to attend the rest of her catechism classes in her church ^^
Lol you know what … it seems every time the baptism undergoes … many people in the scene will weep and i can say that it’s likely to have many mini rice dumplings in the scene ol if you know what I’m talking about … lol it’s a usual Hong Kong teasing tone … you know the rice dumplings are white and small like little balls … and when you finish using a tissue you will subconsciously squeeze it and wrinkle it into a ball shaped object then it looks rather like a Chinese rice dumpling XD haha If it’s to be said in cantonese … you will for sure find it rather friendlily sarcastic!! Haha it doesn’t look like the classical humor in western culture ^^ oh .. do you call your country culture as a kind of western culture?! Just wondering since we’re from different nationalities and in different places on the earth.
Yea probably if everything goes well I will head a uni and I hope frankly everything will be alright ^^ hee~ I’ve just asked a lecturer today for the preparation of my portfolio … yea I have to reassure that everything I do for the interview will be alright!!
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